Christian Singles Dating Online: Are You Prepared?  

Many single Christians are uncomfortable with the idea of going on "dates" with other single Christians. There are many reasons for this such as fear, past hurt or disapproval by married friends or church pastors. Deep down every single Christian knows that unless they do something active about their state of singleness little will change.

Single Christians handle their singleness in different ways. Some will push this to the back of their minds for many years citing "faith" as the reason they do nothing while (for a woman) childbearing ages fast runs out making them wonder where God was in His plan for them. Others rush around looking both in and outside the church, perhaps ending up with someone unsuitable or even a non-Christian.

How a single Christian considers their singleness will affect how they approach dating, whether they will eventually find a partner. Motives, fears, peer pressure and Christian teaching are all factors in how successful (or not) someone will be.

It's easy to make the mistake of taking a "super-spiritual" approach to dating, expecting God to play cosmic matchmaker. And while it's crucial that prayer and wisdom guide you, it's equally important to take ownership of the process. Scripture is full of examples of people being proactive about finding mates. And a Christian dating service can be a great help in connecting you with people who share your interests, traits, and deeply held values. Think of it this way: Would it help to be in a room with a dozen other single men who are potential good matches for you? Of course. And that's what an effective online matching service does.

If you choose to go this route, here are three things to keep in mind. 1) Don't be tempted to play games by presenting yourself to be different than you are. Be real. 2) Focus on the characteristics you want to find in your date. They sometimes fall for the popular myth, "I'll change him." You won't, so don't try. 3) God reveals His will in a variety of ways and we have to resist the idea that there's a predictable formula to follow that leads to a spouse.

One caution: The desire for love is so deep it easily can become an overwhelming goal. Resist the temptation to become consumed with the search for a mate. Discerning God's will in your love life requires a listening spirit and, sometimes, a smart strategy. Prayer, wise counsel, and a spirit of obedience to God's direction are essential.

Dating other single Christians is an important way to begin rightly understanding and relating to each other. By going on fixed, special dating occasions we are forced to pay attention to someone else and consider their lives in a different way to when we related to others in our church settings. Unless we make an effort to do this we may develop un-realistic thinking regarding relationships and this is not a good start for marriage.

No one would expect to find a job by sitting at home and waiting for an offer to drop through the letter box. You would expect to compile a great-looking CV/resume and try to sell your best points through that. You'd then hunt through the newspapers and online job sites and send of letters and emails. This could take some time but you know that you would get there in the end. With online Christian dating the approach is no different. To carry on with this example then the CV/resume is your online profile with a couple of photos added and a video clip to let people know what you are like. Meeting up with a potential partner at a date is the equivalent to your first interview. Your first date may not be your ideal partner but you shouldn't be discouraged and must carry on the process of looking, preparing and dating. Success will follow in due time.

About the Author

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